Monday, January 2, 2017

10 Honest Questions for Real Vampires

Lately my world has been turned upside down in terms of what I once believed and what I now am believing to be true.

As we get older we are taught to believe that concepts like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are faux, yet what about certain other “folklore”? Certainly if faeries and witches were not real, than the concepts of them would have been banished long ago (that’s not to say they haven’t been repressed by religion.)


Anyway, I find it interesting that as we lose certain fantasies as children, we also are opened up to mystical ideas as adults, and it’s these ideas, in their ambiguity, that often hold strongest in our society, whether you personally believe in them or not.


While I also find it interesting that vampires have been suddenly popping up all over the media, I feel many of these TV shows and movies are using vampires as a brilliant metaphor for something else entirely. However, I do admit that I believe real vampires exist, and if you are a real vamp and are reading this, I assure you that I will never mention anything about True Blood or Twilight past this sentence.


So, while encountering a real vampire is certainly on my bucket list, I’m smart enough to realize that searching for one is an immature and rather pointless task. Therefore, in this article I’m going to post some questions that I would ask a vampire, if I did potentially encounter one.


1. How/when did you first discover that you were different than other people? If the people that raised you have memories of your childhood, did you reflect these traits at a young age, or did you realize them on a more personal level as you got older?


2. Are common traits of vampires genetic? And if so, does one have to have certain traits in order to consider themselves a “real” vampire? For example, is it possible to be dark-skinned and have fangs, or to have white skin and be able to go in the sunlight? Are these “traits” even valid at all?…Or, does one have to be bitten as the only way in which to “turn”?


3. Has any movie, book or media portrayal that you’ve seen, ever gotten the concept of a vampire correctly? What is the worst depiction of vampires in the media that you’ve witnessed? Do you believe of or know of personally, any other forms of “folklore” that do exist?


4. Due to all the media hype, I’m sure you live a pretty private or secluded life. Are there certain areas or parts of the world that appeal to you more than others in terms of living a secluded life? Are there certain countries whose cultural values appeal more to you than others? If you don’t live a secluded life, how easy or difficult is it to hide your identity to others? Do you have a job?


5. Do you have any friends that are or have you ever met anyone else that was a vampire? (If you do than kudos to you, as there are so many fake ones running loose in chat rooms these days.) If you live in solitude and have most of your life, do you ever get depressed or lonely? How do you cope, if so?


6. Does one have to live strictly off of blood in their diet? Does blood from animals and blood from humans taste different? Moreover, many will cut themselves, lick the blood and say it tastes like iron; does blood have a different taste for you, or is it tasteless? Some believe drinking snake blood can be beneficial to humans. Have you ever tried it? And if so, does it make you feel different than the blood of other animals (if you’ve tried animal blood)?


7. What is the correct terminology for the modern vampire? (Dead, the Undead, etc.) Or do you find all of these terms derogatory and/or incorrect? Is the term “vampire” even correct?


8. Can vampires get sick? Is there anything besides blood that you can take into your body that will have a negative or positive affect on you?


9. What do you enjoy doing for fun? Do you have any additional traits that most humans don’t that can assist or help make tasks easier? Who is your favorite band/musician?


10. Have you ever considered coming out publicly? Besides lack of privacy, what other fears do you have of how society would view you and how your life would change? Do you consider vampires an endangered species?


Well, that’s it. I’m sure if I had a real interview with a REAL vampire more questions would surely arise.


And for all you “fangbangers” out there, notice not once did I ask, “Will you bite me?”


The End.


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