Thursday, December 8, 2016

"10 Tips on Introducing Mr./Mrs. Right on Thanksgiving Day"

So you’ve been dating Mr. or Mrs. someone for the Summer, but you haven’t really given your family much information about him/her, and with Thanksgiving right around the corner you wonder – “How am I going to introduce this person to my family?” Here are 10 dos and don’ts about bringing home that special someone for Thanksgiving Day feast (WARNING – this is applies to female-male couples and does not take into account the dynamics of same sex relationships. Sorry, I’m heterosexual).

1) Don’t just show up at the door with this person. In some situations surprises are great (like a birthday party, or marriage proposal), but this isn’t one of those situations. Even if this isn’t the first meeting tell your family this person is coming. And don’t wait till the day before. Give the family at least a week to prepare for the situation. Afterall, you do want everyone involved to make a good impression.

2) Makes sure the date knows the plan. Walking up to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and simply saying, “Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we’re going to meet my family. Is that okay,” is not a good thing. Communication is the key to any good-long lasting relationship. Talk with each other. This situation should be on the table at least a couple of months prior.

3) Have the date bring a small present. Choose the gift together, but have them actually present it to the family. Make sure they say the gift is from the both of you. You don’t need something huge and expensive (don’t choose something from the dollar either). It’s the thought that counts. A nice pumpkin pie recipe, or some other kind of recipe is great. Actually food is always a hit as you can eat it immediately – pies, cakes, cookies, wine, etc. are all great ideas. If you really can’t do all that, a nice plant is always appropriate. If you are not plan enthusiasts, visit your local florist and ask for advice (that’s what I always do).

4) Dress for the occasion. You don’t need to look like your having dinner with the Queen of England and the Royal Family, but looking like you’re going to a motor cross race isn’t good either. If you can’t figure anything out dress like a young Republican and all should be fine. Conservative is better than liberal in this race.

5) Make sure your parents can pronounce the mane of the other person. Don’t show up and have your parents trying to pronounce a name longer than the alphabet. Give them a heads up, and if there is a nickname give it up. This isn’t the CIA. Dissemination of information doesn’t require security clearance.

6) Don’t stuff you faces like pigs. This goes double for the date. Even when the parents give the “O,K.” sign for stuffing your face, don’t go overboard. Respectfully stuff yourself, and hold back from 100% burst limits. Next Thanksgiving go for broke, but for now show the crowd that this person has a measure of restraint in the face of great challenges – roast turkey, apple, cherry and pumpkin pie, mash potatoes and heavy servings of lumpy gravy.

7) Compliment, compliment, compliment, that said don’t over compliment. “Oh, Mrs. Smith I noticed that the candles you are using burn with great beauty and radiance…Are they environmentally sound?” Overboard. A simple, “Nice candles, where did you buy them?” Will do. If your date happens to be a candlemaker then no worries, but make sure he/she doesn’t become overly critical.

8) Keep the conversation going back and forth between parties. Don’t monopolize the conversation (this is my weakness). In a new situation I will either talk too much, or not at all, which is just as bad. Help out your date by being a good mediator, and not letting your parents ask too many questions. At the same time don’t let your date talk forever, or not at all. Always be aware of conversation talk time. If 5 minutes goes by and you’re only hearing from one person, find a natural way to enter the conversation.

9) This is directly for the date – always offer to help with things. When the table is being prepared, offer to help. When the food is being prepared, offer to help. When it’s time to wash the dishes, offer to help. Now, don’t offer and not expect to actually help. Maybe you’ll have to wash a dish or 5, that’s okay. Sometimes parents want to see what a date is made of, and will let you wash all the dishes. You’d better do a good job. More times that not as a guest people will say, “Relax, you’re the guest. Don’t worry about these dishes.” But always offer to lend a helping hand.

10) Lastly, always let your date be himself/herself and never do anything that will put them in a position to lie. Now, if you have to put up smokescreens, and perform magic acts, ask yourself, “Why should I have to do this?” If the answer is anything else but, “I shouldn’t have to.” Something is wrong, and you’d better take a look at the situation you are currently in a bit more closely. More important you’d better take a look your date, and yourself.

So there you go, some tips on how to introduce that special someone to your family on Thanksgiving Day. Stay cool, trust yourself, your family, your date, and have fun!

Labels: "10 Tips on Introducing Mr./Mrs. Right on Thanksgiving Day"

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