Tuesday, December 13, 2016

10 Things I Hate About Women

• They want to change their man

I’ve hardly found a man who is completely satisfied with his woman. But he never complains, at least openly. Just look at the other side. Throughout your life you’re told by a woman (may be more than one sometimes) that you’re horrible and need to change. Why? Can’t they look at themselves and change a little to adjust us in their life.


• 2. They think every outing is their wedding party


They take an awful lot of time to get prepared, doesn’t matter where they’re going to. Their five minutes takes an hour at the least. Look at us. We take exactly four smart minutes to get ready and still look at our best.


• 3. They look at the costume of a TV reporter


Yes, they do. How on earth can they comment on the costume of the TV journo? C’mon! She’s there to give us in-depth analysis about the global financial crisis and you’re talking about her lipstick. We never do that. We’re never interested in clothes. We’d rather prefer the absence of it.


• 4. They hate pornography


And secretly try and be like them. Can’t they enjoy it as a part of great fun? We’re in huge mental crisis whenever we have to hide our great porn collection from the women of our life. That’s something to be proud of, isn’t that?


• 5. They’re the least romantic species


Sometimes they are worse than lizards. I’ve found more romantic rats than romantic women. How come are they so prosaically practical? How often do you find a woman poet? They’re more interested in writing their story of child abuse by a pervert uncle. When we talk about the sunset, they say it’s late for home.


• 6. They’re afraid cockroaches


Why? What for? Or is it simply because of the first syllable of the word? Are they scared of that? Such tiny creatures that don’t even know how turn their body over if kept bottoms are one of the very few things that can really men.


• 7. They can religiously watch a soap for years


Should I call it their patience or the ability to make us patients? It any way shows their level of intelligence the way they watch the same thing thrice in the same episode. Everybody knows what’s going to happen and still they’re anxious about that. The men in the house have to wait for the dinner if a certain sad character has just entered the idiot box.


• 8. They think they can choose clothes for men


And they’re absolutely wrong. What you don’t know is that we hate those formal shoes and ironed pants to go out. We feel far more comfortable in a pair of jeans, a cool tee and awesomely funky shoes of rainbow colour. Who do you think we’re to wear your type of clothes? Barrack Obama?


• 9. They scare us by their cooking


Sometimes they scare us by saying it’s no cooking day today. And even worse, they scare us by cooking! They expect us to face their ‘experiments’ with open arms when most of the time, they taste worse than our nose-picks.


• 10. They complain against us of having too much sex drive


As if when we enjoy, they become the sufferers. C’mon it’s a two-way trapeze game. It’s not a hamburger that we can take it o the road and enjoy it whenever we want to. The truth is that you too enjoy equally at that moment. C’mon baby, it’s time to speak out the truth.


Labels: 10 Things I Hate About Women

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