Saturday, December 17, 2016

10 Sexiest IPhone Store Apps Killed by Apple's Sexy App Ban

Apple recently threw icy cold water on the entire iPhone community by banning every sexy app within the App Store. While “sexy time” is doomed on the iPhone, I’ve managed to secure the ten sexiest iPhone apps you’ll no longer see in the iPhone App Store.

Disclaimer: Everything within this article is totally Safe for Work (SFW). All title links will redirect you to YouTube and while they are Safe for Work, I’d recommend not clicking on them if your boss is as intolerant of sexiness as Apple obviously is.

1. Wobble!

The Wobble! iPhone app was an all time favorite for those that loved creating jiggly parts on sexy woman by shaking their iPhone like a crazed lunatic. Even though the Wobble! iPhone app wasn’t limited to sexy images (could be used on jelly and other images you wanted to wobble) it was still banned along with other sexy iPhone apps when Apple decided to ban everything remotely sexy for the iPhone.

2. Zips

Zips got zapped with the sexy iPhone app ban, but when it was active it was a great iPhone app for steamy customers to send sexy images to each other. The Zips app was pretty straight-forward, the interface was comprised of a zipper that could be pulled down and owners of this app could load their own images. Got it? Good.

3. Bikini Blast

Bikini Blast was exactly what it sounds like; an app with sexy chicks in bikinis. This app was exactly what Apple had in mind when it decided to ban sexy apps from the iPhone Store. The Bikini Blast app was sexy but tasteful (by today’s standards). Bikini Blast didn’t do anything extreme and more suggestive imagery could be found in a PG-13 movie or on a beach.

4. Flirt by So Sexy

While other sexy iPhone apps offered still (or jiggly) images of sexy women, Flirt by So Sexy was an iPhone app that took things a little further – by having real girls get all PG-13ish on ya’. This iPhone store app was like a soft-core strip club on your iPhone – that is before the sexy app ban in the iPhone store.

5. iGirl

Many hearts were broken when Apple put a ban on their virtual girlfriend, iGirl. iGirl was a sexy pocket sized girlfriend for the iPhone that iPhone users could give instructions to (things like strike a sexy pose, not too graphic lol). Now that Apple has put a ban on this virtual girlfriend app, thousands of perverted jerks are on the loose and hitting on real women.

6. iJiggly

This sexy iPhone app was very straight forward and offered nothing but a jiggling pair of… well, I’ll let you imagine. I wonder how this app got approved for the iPhone store but it was only a matter of time before Apple decided to ban this grammar school humor app.

7. iSteam

The iSteam app wasn’t inherently sexy but wasn’t able to convince Apple not to ban it from the iPhone Store. The reason iSteam made on this list of sexy iPhone apps is due to what it was often used for; getting things steamy. iSteam is an app that simulates a steamy glass (sort of like the mirror when warming the shower) and any background image could be uploaded to appear underneath the steam. Do see where I’m going with this.

8. PeekaBabe

Simple and a bit voyeuristic PeekaBabe was an app in the iPhone Store that allowed users to scroll their fingers across a fully clothed hottie to take a peek at the sexy lingerie the model was wearing underneath. This app was sexy but simple, it was made of two still images (one clothed, one in lingerie) and a pervert’s curiosity, but it still managed to get banned from the app store.

9. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit

Sports Illustrated is a fan favorite for those that love scantily clad hotties and this iPhone app delivered just that. The odd thing about this sexy iPhone app is that it tried to offer functionality as well (scheduling and appointments). Anyone that used this app for more than goggling and googling was seriously disturbed (but so was the former).

10. iHottiez

iHottiez may very well be the steamiest iPhone app on this list (besides iSteam) and offered real dancing cuties on your iPhone. This iPhone Store app allowed users to select from a list of sexy women and watch them dance at parties, do private shows, listen to sexy audio, and look at hot images.

For more read, IPaid: 10 Worst Apple Products People Were Dumb Enough to Buy, Top 10 Coolest Apple Products (2000-2010), and The 7 Most Eye-Gougingly Annoying Facebook Apps We All Hate,

For more on the latest technology news, check out my blog.

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